To Do Lists

I am a list maker.  I make lists for nearly everything.  I somehow don’t feel my life is in order unless I’m working on a list.  My favorite lists?  To Do lists.  I always feel so accomplished when I make that little checkmark!  That is, until I had a baby.

Here are some items on my to-do list that have been there since, oh…December?  Let me remind you that it is now March.  Here we go:

  • Dust and vacuum house.  I’m not going to lie, I’m a little OCD about how clean my house is.  I am actually extremely thankful that my husband is not home right now because he is attending a school down in Texas to reclass to a different MOS (Military Occupational Specialty for you non-Army folks).  The house doesn’t get dirty as quick, but holy shit, is this place difficult to clean when I spend all day trying to feed my son or put my son to sleep.  And I’ve already lied to you…I have cleaned since December.  Once.  And my parents had to come over so I could get it done.  I tell myself every day that I’ll do a little bit each day, but I’m so fucking lazy when my son is sleeping that I can’t work up the motivation to get up off the couch!
  • File papers.  I have a STACK of papers that need to be filed.  I probably got around to it once every 3 months pre-baby.  This stack is now having baby stacks.  Mortgage statements, tax statements, my son’s birth certificate, his social security card…you know what?  Fuck it, I’ll get to it when we move.  Which reminds me:
  • Create a PCS binder.  My husband received his next assignment last month, and we are MOVING TO HAWAI’I, Y’ALL!  (I’m not Southern, I don’t know why I put y’all in there.  Just go with it.)  I KNOW the best way to make this move less stressful is to organize everything we will need into a binder, but we’re not moving until June, so I still have time, right?  No.  No, I don’t.  And I probably won’t realize that I need to get my shit together until about two weeks before we move.  Well played, Army.  Well played.
  • Clean out fridge.  I’m sure by the time I get around to this, my fridge is going to be absolutely gag-worthy.  I’m not even going to go into detail because thinking about it makes me want to gag.
  • Update baby book.  I can’t even make this good, I’m a shitty mother for not diligently recording every second of my son’s life.  No, I’m not a shitty mother…just a busy one.

So the moral of this story is to never EVER make a to do list if you have an infant.  My son is 5 months old.  If I can barely find time to take a shower every two days, how the fuck am I supposed to get all this stuff done on my list?!  The answer is that I probably won’t.  Instead, I’m going to catch up on my extremely backed up DVR and have a glass of wine.  Because mama always needs a drink.


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