In Which My Nightmare Comes to Life

You guys.  I did something today.  I’m not proud of it.  And I haven’t done this in YEARS, but it happened today.

Today, I screamed like a little bitch.

That’s right.  My husband and I were out on our back lanai smoking (don’t worry, I have plans to quit really soon, especially after tonight’s incident), and I walked back in the house.  I felt something in my cleavage, so I looked down my shirt.  THERE WAS A FUCKING COCKROACH IN MY SHIRT.  I screamed like I had DD boobs in a horror flick, and proceeded to try to get the cockroach out of my shirt.  I freak out because I don’t see it, and I’m shaking all my clothes, so my husband says, “Well, you’re not going to find it now,” so I go back to watching TV.  I get up to get ready to feed Jonathan dinner, AND THE COCKROACH FALLS ON THE FLOOR.  That sonofabitch was still ON me, the whole time I was sitting on the couch!  *shudder*  So I went and grabbed a shoe, and killed that motherfucker with a vengeance.

I love Hawai’i, I really do, but I could do without the flying cockroaches that apparently have a thing for my boobs.



4 thoughts on “In Which My Nightmare Comes to Life

  1. NOOOOOOOO! This has happened to me a couple of times so I know your fear! And yes you need to quit smoking!!! You did before you can do it again!

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