You guys. I did something today. I’m not proud of it. And I haven’t done this in YEARS, but it happened today.
Today, I screamed like a little bitch.
That’s right. My husband and I were out on our back lanai smoking (don’t worry, I have plans to quit really soon, especially after tonight’s incident), and I walked back in the house. I felt something in my cleavage, so I looked down my shirt. THERE WAS A FUCKING COCKROACH IN MY SHIRT. I screamed like I had DD boobs in a horror flick, and proceeded to try to get the cockroach out of my shirt. I freak out because I don’t see it, and I’m shaking all my clothes, so my husband says, “Well, you’re not going to find it now,” so I go back to watching TV. I get up to get ready to feed Jonathan dinner, AND THE COCKROACH FALLS ON THE FLOOR. That sonofabitch was still ON me, the whole time I was sitting on the couch! *shudder* So I went and grabbed a shoe, and killed that motherfucker with a vengeance.
I love Hawai’i, I really do, but I could do without the flying cockroaches that apparently have a thing for my boobs.