This is Why Moms Go Crazy

It’s 11:30 at night.  Let me give you a rundown of my day.

I fell asleep around 12:30 last night.  Thankfully, Annabeth is an excellent sleeper, and didn’t wake up at all last night.  When she does wake up, I just have to stick the pacifier back in her mouth, and she’s usually good.  Jonathan used to stay up for hours when he went through his 4-month sleep regression, so I will take this.  I’m still going to sleep train her next month, but it’s mostly to get her to fall asleep on her own without the pacifier.  She was falling asleep on her own before the 4-month sleep regression because she is apparently an angel sent from heaven, but that has disappeared.  Anyway.

I get up at 7:10ish, so I can get Annabeth up at 7:30.  She wakes up, I feed her, everything’s cool.  I put her in her bouncer so I can get Jonathan up.  He’s still trying to sleep, but if I let him sleep in, it’ll mess up his sleep for the next week.  So he gets up, he eats breakfast while I unload the dishwasher, and have a cup of coffee, toast, and yogurt for breakfast.  He finishes eating, we go in the playroom, and then it’s time to put Annabeth down for her nap.  While I am upstairs walking around her room to get her to fall asleep as she flails because I’m apparently not holding her right, Jonathan climbs over the gate, comes up the stairs, and decides to wreak havoc in our room.  So of course, Annabeth takes longer to fall asleep because she can probably sense my anxiety about him breaking the monitor or spraying shaving cream all over our bedroom.  I hear a whirring sound, and it’s him deciding to take a little look-see around Annabeth’s room.  She finally falls asleep, I finally get him back downstairs, but now he wants the iPad, so I give it to him so he won’t start dumping toys out of all the bins, which will definitely wake his sister up.

Annabeth wakes up about an hour and a half later, and I got into the kitchen to make her bottle.  She’s already crying.  I hear, “Uh oh! Ohhh, noooo!”  I look around the corner, and Jonathan has peed on the floor.  At least it was on the laminate and not on the carpet.  And this time, he’s not splashing around in it like it’s a puddle, which is good.  So Annabeth is now screaming, I’m trying to clean up his pee mess, and he’s grabbing paper towels off the roll and shredding them.  Because I don’t already have enough to clean.  I finally get everything cleaned up, and get upstairs to get Annabeth.  I feed her, and it’s time for lunch. Jonathan eats his lunch without incident, which is also good, but then freaks the fuck out when I take the iPad away because it’s time for his nap.  Annabeth is in her bouncer, and now she starts crying.  Fabulous.  I need to get him in bed, and she’s not screaming, so I head upstairs to put him down for his nap.  Thank God for the talk back feature on this monitor because he actually listens when I tell him to get back into bed.  I then spend another half hour trying to get Annabeth to fall asleep.

It’s now 1:30, and I need to eat, so I eat some lunch (buffalo summer sausage, and some delicious Washington State University Viking Dill Garlic cheese with Beaver brand Hot Mustard).  As soon as I finish eating, I hear Jonathan running around like a herd of elephants.  It’s 2:00.  So far today, I have only had 1 hour to myself without kids.  He’s awake because we put a pull up on him for his naps, and he has pooped.  His running has also woken his sister up, so nice bonus.  That’s sarcasm in case you didn’t pick that up.  No wipes upstairs, and no toilet paper in our bathroom, so I sit him on the toilet, and go on the hunt for toilet paper.  I find some, wipe him, he flushes, and I get him downstairs. Annabeth is now screaming.  I get her bottle ready, and go up and get her.  Jonathan has decided to run around the playroom like a crazy person, and throws himself onto the couch, accidentally stepping on Annabeth at the same time.

Paul gets home a little after 3.  Someone please explain this to me.  I get maybe 10 minutes a day to go to the bathroom without interruption, but he’ll easily spend 20 minutes in the bathroom.  I don’t get it.  Why does it take so long for men to get everything out?!  We’re out of fresh fruit and a few other things, so I need to run to the commissary, but Paul wants me to put Annabeth down for her last nap, so I do that.  I go to the Commissary, and right as I’m pulling into the parking lot, they start playing Retreat, so I do what any good Army wife does, get out of my car, stand at attention with my hand over my heart while facing the flag, and wait patiently for it to end.  The Commissary isn’t busy, so I’m winning this shopping trip.  I get home, Paul unloads the groceries, and Annabeth wakes up.  I feed her, and hand her off because I need some time to myself without a kid touching me.

Paul makes the first part of dinner, and I make the 2nd part.  We eat.  I bathe Annabeth and Paul bathes Jonathan.  I come downstairs to feed her her bottle, and she’s spitting it out and crying every 3 sucks.  She’s not falling asleep, so I decide to wait until we’re done reading Jonathan his stories and put him to bed.  We go upstairs, put Jonathan in bed, and then I walk around Annabeth’s room for half an hour trying to get her to fall asleep.  She’s asleep, and it’s before 9:30, so that’s good.  Paul is in charge of keeping Jonathan in line at bedtime.

I come downstairs, do the dishes, and sit down to balance the checkbook and pay the bills since tomorrow’s the 1st.  Of course, one of the websites is doing maintenance, so now I have to hope I don’t forget to pay it tomorrow.  And then I wasted half an hour writing this post.

When I worked, I used to think I would be bored out of my mind staying at home.  Today wasn’t even a busy day.  Now I don’t know how I’d fit in time to work!

In other news, Annabeth turned 5 months old last Friday.  I haven’t posted pics in a while, so here are her 4 month and 5 month pics, and a couple of Jonathan because he’s awesome.  More to come, I’ve actually done non-Mom things in the past couple of months, and I want to talk about it!

4 Months Old, and so strong!

4 Months Old, and so strong!

That smile is infectious!

That smile is infectious!

What a creeper.

What a creeper.

Always so handsome!

Always so handsome!


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